I’m feeling vulnerable right now. Sharing my thoughts, my photos, my world with you is a little daunting. What will you think? Do I have anything to offer? Is what I have learnt, discovered, wanting to share of interest to anyone else?
There was a time when I was far more confident in this realm than I am now. I have worked for many years as a health and wellbeing coach. I have always loved my work, been proud of my work and excelled in my work. But then I left my work…
It’s now been 8 years since I left Australia and I’ve been travelling the world and living life as an expat wife. I love my life. I truly do…but recently there’s been something missing. I don’t want to change anything about the life I have…but I want to add something more into it.
Living as an expat in India and now Indonesia, I have not been allowed to work. I’ve never been willing to jeopardise this by doing something on the side as my husband has a fabulous job and if I was sent home, it would mean his time here would change as well. We come as a ‘twosome’ when it comes to where he works and what he does.
I absolutely love the freedom I have living here. Not having to work offers me unparalleled opportunities to discover new places, new people, learn the language, continue to broaden my natural wellbeing studies which I love, to get up and go travelling further afield at a moment’s notice and enjoy wonderful ground level Indonesian living. Who wouldn’t love it – well actually I’ve already heard from a few friends that they couldn’t live my life but for me its an incredible life. So often I would love for some of my family or my friends to be able to experience some of the other perks of it as well – home help / nannies / drivers are such a part of the expat life. Of course there is the balance. I miss my family, I miss my friends in Australia, I miss familiarity of my life there, I miss deep connection with other women of my ‘tribe’, I miss having ready access to food I’m accustomed to (although I love the local village produce and Indonesia food – ‘home cooking’ that I grew up with still makes my heart and tummy sing!) and I also miss working. I loved my job. I loved the contribution I knew I was making. I loved the energy exchange I got when I worked with other women – their pleasure in rediscovering things about themselves, of living a happier healthier life, of reconnecting more with their joy became my pleasure. I loved it!
Now though I’m categorised as a ‘trailing spouse’…could they have come up with a more demeaning title??!! That conjures up images of a purposeless me following aimlessly behind my partner – aargh! Well that’s not me, but it does press my buttons because I know that there is more that I want to be, more that I want to do…and so begins this journey. What journey it actually ends up being I don’t really know. It’s a work in progress as they say. I wonder what will unfold..for now its about sharing more of my world with you, about sharing more of me…by offering my knowledge, my insights, my gifts I hope that your day, your life, you, will feel richer for it… and its about reminding myself to keep putting myself out there, despite the sense of vulnerability, one step in front of the other…..